I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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