Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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