Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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