my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize