I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
