i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize