I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All the doctor said was why
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize