I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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