we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
