You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
