dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
