I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
