You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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