So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
