69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize