My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
