grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
