Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
