is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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