I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize