U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
