I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
