your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
honey bunches of taint.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize