I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
