WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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