Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
