sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
