It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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