I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
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