You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
