I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
worst night to have a conscience
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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