I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You are the jesus of drinking
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
