And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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