Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize