I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
