You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
