My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
