he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
