Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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