she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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