We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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