lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
