my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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