Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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