Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
