Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
