You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
