no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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