Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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