the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
