I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
