Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize