i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
