there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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