Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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