when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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