He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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