I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
