All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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