I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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