Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
