yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize