I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
