So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
