I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
