Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
