woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
