I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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