Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
