if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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