We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
