he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
