She announced her abortion via fbk
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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