There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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